ABOUT THE BOOK: MINDSET by Carol Dweck

People can learn, change + grow!

CAROL DWECK - KEYNOTE SPEAKER

 

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE BEEN READING MY POSTINGS OVER THE YEARS I'M SURE YOU REMEMBER MY POSTS OF CAROL DWECK and her

FIXED + GROWTH MINDSET STUDIES. SHE TEACHES AT STANFORD UNIVERSITY.

3 STRATEGIES TO REGULATE EMOTIONS

 

Dr. Judy Ho

1 - 5 Questions To Draw People Out!

ICE BREAKERs: 1 - 5

---One of the more difficult things that I find to do is to, sometimes, break the ice. I’m sure my own shyness plays right into it. I’ve done some research and found these questions to get things started at those times I can’t think of what to say. I notice that there is an open-ended quality to these questions that leaves plenty of room to expand and continue as one sees fit. Good luck with them if you try them. Remember that the purpose is to get to know someone and to learn more about his/her life!

1. What is your best childhood memory?
This question always makes people smile and often leads to a humorous or poignant exchange about family, travel, holidays and traditions, hopes and dreams, and friendship. You learn a lot about someone when they share aspects of their childhood.

2. If you had a chance for a ‘’do-over’’ in life, what would you do differently?

This question gives insight into a person's state of mind about who they are, their vulnerabilities, and their hopes and dreams. Often sharing regrets or unmet desires opens doors to considering new possibilities or the confidence to make needed change.

3. How did the two of you meet?

This is a great question to ask a couple. Or, you can ask when did you get interested in 'such+such.' Quite often sharing the story draws them together in a mutual happy memory, or just provides a happy memory. It gives them a reason to reconnect and allows you to learn more about their past and how they interact together as a couple, or why this certain thing is his/her hobby?

4. What do you feel most proud of?

This question makes people feel you are really interested in them and who they are. Everyone wants to feel accomplished and proud, and we all want an opportunity to share our successes without looking like a braggart. The answers give you great insight into what the person values most in life.

5. What is your favorite music?

The music we enjoy helps define us and reflects the dreams and attitudes of our generation. What we listen to reflects what speaks to our souls. It reveals who we are and what we believe — in an illuminating and honest way that's often hard to put into words.

Questions 6 - 10 To Ask To Draw People Out

6. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?

This question not only allows you to discuss and share travel experiences, but also it affords insights into the other person's interests, personality, and sense of adventure.

7. If you could only keep five possessions, what would they be?

This question really makes people think. We are so attached to our possessions, but truthfully there are only a few that matter deeply to us. When people are forced to define those few, it gives insight into what they value most.

8. What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why?

Teachers can play a pivotal role in helping us develop a love of learning, discover our life passions, and draw out our innate skills. Sometimes they are people who inspire us or who simply believe in us and want the best for us.

9. What do you want your tombstone to say?

Although this is a morbid question, it does go right to the heart of what we want for ourselves. At the end of our lives, how do we want to be remembered and what legacy do we want to leave?

10. What was one of your most defining moments in life?

This is a great question to invite sharing on a deeper and more vulnerable level. Often defining moments come during profound life transitions like death, divorce, job loss, etc. It is during these times we are called to make a huge mental, physical, or emotional shift.

HOW TO BE AT HOME WITH YOURSELF

MASLOW-TYPE THINKING on

HOMELESS vs HOUSELESS

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---I think a distinction has to be made of the two. A ‘’house’’ is a shelter, a structure…built by the hands. A heart builds a ‘’home.’’ A HOME is denoted by that warm, fuzzy, comfortable feeling you get where your significant others have let you know that they understand you...BUT/AND, accept you anyway. The place where you feel wanted, cared for and fulfilled. There is an UNCONDITIONAL feeling going on. The kind of situation that is safe and secure that can be BEST characterized by the knowing that the cake has just been frosted. 

---If you don’t have OR never have had OR don’t have a clue to what I’m referring to…than you have ALWAYs been HOMELESS from my perspective. I know that some relate to this. I know that some DO NOT. In my estimation, those terms have been confused for a very long time.

---What, also, makes things difficult at this point in time is the fact that those who are presently in charge of things have been deprived at an important developmental time in their own lives and a depravity (negativity) has taken over. Though, having much money, it shows that they have been deprived of what is needed for successful give + take relationships. It seems they were never valued properly. They were, also, never appreciated in the correct way. Love, support, security, etc., went haywire in some sense. Money was, probably, used in the place of what is really important! 

---Money and material goods will NEVER successfully replace the intangible benefits that love, etc., provides. Read below the relationship of DEPRIVED + DEPRAVED and see for yourself how it fits. The ''feeling that everything is alright with the world,'' would be replaced with the feeling you get when your significant other lets you know that he/she cares deeply for you or something of that nature.

---HANDs BUILD a HOUSE, but a HEART BUILDs a HOME. If that makes sense, then we are on the same page.

---Some people are more at home with themselves than others are. They bring their home with them everywhere they go. Some (many) do not.

---The more that one knows himself usually designates the degree to which someone is HOMELESS. If someone is truly comfortable with himself, he or she is usually considered to be at home with himself. If he or she is NOT comfortable with him or herself than ‘’Houston, we have a problem…OR, better yet – The HOMELESS PROBLEM.’’

---We somehow think that the solution to the HOMELESS PROBLEM is to build more houses. It is NOT. We have to put those in a HOMELESS MINDSET into a HOME MINDSET if they want to experience what it is like to be at HOME with who they are. In my estimation, the HOMELESS have to be taught what a HOME IS. Maybe, we ALL need a refresher course??

IT WOULD DO US ALL WELL TO MULL THIS OVER A BIT!

---Of course, in MASLOW's way of thinking we have one who has his/her needs met. One who is appreciated and valued. Loved and supported. He's made to feel secure and important and encouraged to achieve. These are essentials to living successfully. The GROWTH MINDSET comes to mind.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---When those needs are met, one easily reaches out and is very willing to support and respect others. He/She sees others as friends and allies...NOT enemies. EVERYONE BEING KIND WILL STILL MAKE THINGs BETTER!

HOW TO FEEL AT HOME WITH YOURSELF (CLICK LEFT)

RatPark Addiction and Connection TED