ANGER
---Anger and Frustration happens when you want something, or want to express something and it doesn't happen. Anger, frustration or just an uncomfortableness happens when there is a need or preference that goes unsatisfied. There is something inside that hasn't been expressed (connected.)
---At LHH we have ANGER + FRUSTRATION that wants to be
expressed. In my estimation, most people who come to LHH, have a certain amount
of anger and/or frustration just below or on the surface from dealing with whichever illness they may have. The anger + frustration is ready to express
itself without much provoking. But, I would go so far as to say that most human
beings would fall into this category nowadays. Let me explain.
---Most want to express themselves in one
way, but have to continually compromise their needs and preferences and/or their expectations...to fit the
situation that they find themselves in. A feeling of frustration and thwartedness
comes in, as they pursue their original objective. A quiet desperation.
---What I am saying is that this anger or
unexpressed (unconnected) energy is much the same whether seen on the staff or resident side.
The anger is much the same for both. We ALL seem to have our set of buttons
that produce this negative reaction - when pushed. When these buttons are
pushed, then we are angry, staff and resident, alike. A common point we ALL
share.
---As a resident at LHH, I have experienced
or witnessed anger many times. I have seen residents trying to sleep while the
TV set playing, too loud, two beds away, won't allow that. I have seen
residents who want food to be cooked in a certain way, get angry at their CNA,
who has nothing to do with the food. I have seen staff members get angry at
other staff members, because one has a different idea on how things should be
done than the other. I have seen people experience anger over their own
inability to express - what they really want to say.
---Having to continually ''compromise your
expectations,'' seems to be what we are saying. There is no doubt that some are
better at ''compromise'' than others. But, it is good to look at your
expectations, also. Where do they stand? Are they reasonable? Is the bar so
high that it makes reaching it, very difficult?
---In the cause and effect world, we see
the activlty that the resident does as (the cause.) in hopes to produce what he
wants (the effect.) When compromise comes into it, the effect will be different
than expected. The amount of flexibility which one has while he is
compromising, plays heavily, here. If, in ones mind, the outcome has to be a
certain way, than he will experience much dissatisfaction when it doesn't. If
the outcome isn't so rigid, than he will be able to handle a ''less than
perfect,'' outcome, much easier.
---When our needs and preferences are met
on a continual basis, we are pretty much happy. When they are NOT met
regularly, we are prone to NOT have such a goodtime. We are usually frustrated
and angry. Our needs and preferences are our expectations and they are being compromised.
---I feel it necessary to jump in here. When I wrote this piece there was NOT an agenda being pushed. I, personally, think that thinking for yourself is very important. Be sure that you are following your own heart and understand whatever wisdom is the driving force behind what is happening at present.
---I feel it necessary to jump in here. When I wrote this piece there was NOT an agenda being pushed. I, personally, think that thinking for yourself is very important. Be sure that you are following your own heart and understand whatever wisdom is the driving force behind what is happening at present.
---I, personally, feel the needs and preferences
should be generated by the IDT meeting and agreed upon by the resident and
staff concerned. In this way the resident would be part of his/her own care
plan and the bi-weekly check in (Go-To Person) be used to see how the needs and preferences are going.
---All of the above, has to be reality
based and possible. I think that babysteps have a place, here. Slow and with a
good chance to actually happen, are necessary. We do NOT want to be added to
the residents list of people who have made promises and didn't deliver. This
will only add to the anger and frustration and have the result that is the
opposite of what was intended.
---As you can probably tell, I feel that
much of the resident anger, etc., is based on the fact that NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE really takes
the residents needs and preferences, seriously...and the residents feel
compromised, much of the time...in the process. I predict that anger and frustration will lessen as NEEDS and PREFERENCES are
met...regularly. Hopefully, when framed by the IDT they will then be met in a way that the resident finds satisfactory.
Be Well.
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