The ''IDEAL''

Monday, September 22, 2014




---Anger and Frustration happens when you want something, or want to express something and it doesn't happen. Anger, frustration or just an uncomfortableness happens when there is a need or preference that goes unsatisfied. There is something inside that hasn't been expressed (connected.)

---At LHH we have ANGER + FRUSTRATION that wants to be expressed. In my estimation, most people who come to LHH, have a certain amount of anger and/or frustration just below or on the surface from dealing with whichever illness they may have. The anger + frustration is ready to express itself without much provoking. But, I would go so far as to say that most human beings would fall into this category nowadays. Let me explain.

---Most want to express themselves in one way, but have to continually compromise their needs and preferences and/or their fit the situation that they find themselves in. A feeling of frustration and thwartedness comes in, as they pursue their original objective. A quiet desperation.

---What I am saying is that this anger or unexpressed (unconnected) energy is much the same whether seen on the staff or resident side. The anger is much the same for both. We ALL seem to have our set of buttons that produce this negative reaction - when pushed. When these buttons are pushed, then we are angry, staff and resident, alike. A common point we ALL share.

---As a resident at LHH, I have experienced or witnessed anger many times. I have seen residents trying to sleep while the TV set playing, too loud, two beds away, won't allow that. I have seen residents who want food to be cooked in a certain way, get angry at their CNA, who has nothing to do with the food. I have seen staff members get angry at other staff members, because one has a different idea on how things should be done than the other. I have seen people experience anger over their own inability to express - what they really want to say.

---Having to continually ''compromise your expectations,'' seems to be what we are saying. There is no doubt that some are better at ''compromise'' than others. But, it is good to look at your expectations, also. Where do they stand? Are they reasonable? Is the bar so high that it makes reaching it, very difficult?

---In the cause and effect world, we see the activlty that the resident does as (the cause.) in hopes to produce what he wants (the effect.) When compromise comes into it, the effect will be different than expected. The amount of flexibility which one has while he is compromising, plays heavily, here. If, in ones mind, the outcome has to be a certain way, than he will experience much dissatisfaction when it doesn't. If the outcome isn't so rigid, than he will be able to handle a ''less than perfect,'' outcome, much easier.
 ---When our needs and preferences are met on a continual basis, we are pretty much happy. When they are NOT met regularly, we are prone to NOT have such a goodtime. We are usually frustrated and angry. Our needs and preferences are our expectations and they are being compromised. 

---I feel it necessary to jump in here. When I wrote this piece there was NOT an agenda being pushed. I, personally, think that thinking for yourself is very important. Be sure that you are following your own heart and understand whatever wisdom is the driving force behind what is happening at present.

---I, personally, feel the needs and preferences should be generated by the IDT meeting and agreed upon by the resident and staff concerned. In this way the resident would be part of his/her own care plan and the bi-weekly check in (Go-To Person) be used to see how the needs and preferences are going.

---All of the above, has to be reality based and possible. I think that babysteps have a place, here. Slow and with a good chance to actually happen, are necessary. We do NOT want to be added to the residents list of people who have made promises and didn't deliver. This will only add to the anger and frustration and have the result that is the opposite of what was intended.

---As you can probably tell, I feel that much of the resident anger, etc., is based on the fact that NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE really takes the residents needs and preferences, seriously...and the residents feel compromised, much of the the process. I predict that anger and frustration will lessen as NEEDS and PREFERENCES are met...regularly. Hopefully, when framed by the IDT they will then be met in a way that the resident finds satisfactory. 

Be Well.


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